I was born in a highly conservative family in a town called Tiruchengode (Tamilnadu, India). Like most of the girls in my community, I completed my Masters with Distinction. And of-course, it is a symbol of esteem to complete an Engineering Degree or a Master Degree – Strictly ‘No’ to the job.
Till then life for me was one and only my family, to get a good name to my family members – that too based on the subject score and the words from my teacher. Those days girls will not be appreciated and encouraged much if they achieved something other than academics. After 2 years of groom hunt – with the approval from the astrologer and the groom’s first circle (no doubt, to approach the people who only gave positive words about the guy just because astrologer gave positive remarks), I got married. It didn’t last even for 10 days.
I was born in a social circle where good girls must tolerate all the non-sense attitude of the groom’s house. Even though they disrespect us to the core out of insecurity and low self-esteem. He verbally abused me. Within a week of marriage, tortured me to the core and also said, this is your final day – threatened me to get ready with the suicide note. I was petrified. I realized, his intention behind this marriage is not to live a happy life with me. I was shattered. I heard the worst statement I ever hear in my life- ‘Why do you smile at guest – are you trying to flatter them’ – so far I heard ‘Smile’ is the basic respect we give to the other human being. I was not allowed to talk with neither the guest nor anyone at his home.
I tried my best to make my parents to realize his attitude. I was clueless what I am going to do next. I am okay to go with the flow. I took a decision and discussed with my family members that, I don’t deserve to live this kind of life, no matter what- I just want to come out of this.
The impact they left in 10 days remained for 3 years in my life- I was on medication for a year and therapy for couple of years.
I experienced the definition of Depression.
I was ashamed to meet my loved ones- It reminded their toxic words not to talk with anyone.
I used to cry for no reason when I see for paper and pen – that reminds he compelled me to write a suicide note
I got to fear for my favourite food and restaurant – since he said he mix poison in that
I got fear to travel – since he tried to crash the car which my father complimented for my wedding just because I was not ready to write suicide note.
My hands shivered like anything. I just wake up in the mid of night and cried for no reason. I could not hold a glass full of water to drink. I was scared of everything – even to cross the road without a companion was a biggest achievement.
Then I took a decision – I don’t want to give any reason to anyone to follow my instinct. All I could feel is , ”I don’t deserve to live this kind of worst life”
2013- I got married and applied for divorce.
Then I joined in college studied full time Masters in counselling Psychology.
It was absolute pain to sit in the classroom and listen how to handle the pain. There are days I run out of the class and cry for no reason.
There are days I was unable to focus on any therapy.
I got absolutely very good friends during my college days who hug me everyday and say I am perfect
On 2013 my birthday I was a depressed patient in a hospital and at 2014 I was a psychologist intern at a hospital. I found a Year can do a lot to a person based on the choice they made.
I passed out in the year 2015 and I was the first student who got placed in my department
Placed at an reputed Engineering College as the first CounsellingPsychologist.
Yes, the two gentle men created a job for me.
2016- Quit my job and started travelling just to explore about people and lifestyle.
Interviewed amazing personalities right from Mrs.India, Padma Bhushan Awardee( highest civilian award in India) Member of Parliament, Lawyers, Educational Institute Founder, Students, Spiritual Gurus , Road side sellers etc
Found the answer for ‘what matters the most and where the real happiness is’
2017- I started to write snippets and blogs , then I wrote a book about parenting ‘ The Smile Syrup’
Now, Revathi, The Author – ‘The Smile Syrup’
Am sure now I am the reason behind the Smile of Millions
And now my parents are proud of me for the difference I am making in people’s life. Talking with strangers – listening to their problems- giving a clarity in their life and making an impact is a bliss. And it takes years and so many hardships to realise this thing.
I hate people call me victim or survivor. I don’t want people to pity me and I don’t want to play a safe victim game. I always want to be a person who tries hard to get what I deserve.
I realised it is my responsibility to change my identity. Of course yes, the person who could save me is only me. The choices I consider and the decision I chose matters a lot. Even though, my father is financially and socially secured I haven’t experienced this kind of bliss even before.
What I am now today is because of the kind of people I chose to be with and the kind of life, I want to live and to the kind of person I wish to make the positive impact . I do counselling and make people really okay with my presence. I am happy and feel content that I make difference in their lives. Life is once, nobody deserves to live an unhappy life.
I realize, not all the men are cruel. I was compelled by someone to write a suicide note and I was inspired by someone to write my book ‘The Smile Syrup’.
2018- I framed my own module and started a story telling session for parents.
It’s my prudence and persistence makes me to reach the place where I am today.
One life changing statement in my life,
IF YOU DIDN’T GO BEHIND WHAT YOU WANT YOU NEVER GET WHAT YOU DESERVE.
Now I am proud to say, if you know me a year back – I say, ‘ sorry that’s not me- everyyear my growth is strong and allow me to re-introduce myself’.